Strawberry Pig

Last summer, in an otherwise normal batch of Ontario strawberries, I found this little strawberry pig. It was eaten promptly after the photo shoot. Mmmmm, strawberry bacon.

The Hairy Eyeball

When I was 16 or so and living in Calgary, I shelled out a whopping $75 for a 1971 Datsun 510. I drove the thing for over 10 years. I built an engine for it in shop class in high school. The old one ran fine, but the new one was bigger (Ooooh!). It was the first engine I had rebuilt from the ground up. I never even expected it to turn over and start, let alone drive back and forth across the country a number of times. The car was a little rough around the edges and not big on creature comforts, but it was easy to fix and it never really left me stranded anywhere. Of course, my definition of stranded was different back then when I didn't have kids or a real job. Back then I had no problem sleeping on the side of the road waiting for daylight so I could see to fix something myself.

When I lived in Calgary, I drove it to Ontario for the summers. Later when I lived in Northern Ontario I would drive it out West in the winter. In the final year I drove it from Parry Sound to Vancouver, then all the way back across to St. John's for Christmas, then home to Ontario. It was so cold driving through Quebec that winter that I had to drive in my sleeping bag to stay warm. The car was pretty rusty and the wind came in a lot. So in winter, it would warm up nicely sitting still, but the heater couldn't stay ahead of the drafts at highway speeds, so it would slowly cool down as you drove. The sleeping bag made it a bit of a bitch to use the clutch, but it was fine once you were going in 4th gear on the highway.

In my early 20's I gave it the fine paint job you see here in the pictures. I also named it the Hairy Eyeball because driving it sometimes reminded me of that really hung over feeling you get when you're so dehydrated that it feels like there's fur on your eyelids scratching your eyeballs, and you wonder who's cat shit in your mouth while you were sleeping.

The first year I drove to St.John's with the new paint job, I was stopped by the OPP crossing the top of Toronto on the 401. Really, I think they just wanted to make sure I wasn't stoned or something. When I told the cop I was on my way to Newfoundland I think he said something like "yeah that figures". Then he made me promise not to drive into Toronto and let me go.

That same trip, on my way home, I drove it into the ditch in a snowstorm at night somewhere out on the Rock. It ripped up some of the exhaust, but I was trying to make the ferry that night so didn't want to wait for the next day to get it fixed. You don't realize quite how loud a car with no muffler can be until you drive it onto the enclosed car deck of one of those big ferries. Later, in Nova Scotia I stopped to have some welding done to try to make it a bit quieter again. The punk at the shop kept staring at me, then eventually said "that's an interesting paint job, are you what they call a hippie?".

Even though the engine was still strong, I finally got tired of trying to locate parts to keep the rest of the car going. Ontario doesn't have the same pick your own part junkyard scene that Alberta did. Here they had long ago crushed all the cars I wanted to pick parts from. So I bought a truck one spring and coldly turned my back on the Eyeball. It lived in a boat shed for the summer at the marina where I worked because I had nowhere else to put it at the time. That fall the guy up the highway who ran a tractor trailer shop agreed to take it away. The shed had a damp dirt floor and the rear brakes rusted and seized up, so I had to use the forklift to get the car out. The pictures were taken while I waited for buddy to come with his flatbed.

I know it's getting boring, but the story's not quite over. Buddy was pretty handy with the tools and the welder. He took the engine and transmission from the Eyeball and built them into a frame he had made for a little yard tractor. He even put a hydraulic pump and scoop bucket on the front for clearing snow. I have a picture of the tractor somewhere but I couldn't find it. If I ever do I'll put it up. Buddy moved away a few years later and sold the tractor to someone in Parry Sound. Maybe it's still running...
UPDATE: I found the picture of the tractor. Yes, this used to be my old 510. Hope it's still running.

Repetitive socking

Last week work was shut down for 3 days and everyone was forced to take the time off without pay. Not ideal, but not the end of the world, and I made grand plans of getting all sorts of crap done around the house. Instead, C got a bit of a fever and cough and had to stay home from daycare so I just hung with her instead. We engaged in various exciting activities, had tea and cakes at 11, that sort of thing. If there's one thing she loves, it's accessorizing. Hats, mitts, underwear as hats, you name it, she likes to put it on and off over and over. She especially likes socks. The video is 3 minutes of what we did over and over for stretches of 20 minutes or more at various times over the 3 days. In the end, it was very therapeutic. And since she had 3 days of me all to herself, I am now the runaway favourite and it's all about Daddy!

Sunfire Coolness?

So it's early days yet, and uncalled for, but I need to poke fun at something already. I've never been a big fan of spoilers and scoops on road going cars that don't have prancing horses or dancing bulls on the coat of arms. Fine, if you buy an STI it comes with a pretty big spoiler and the scoop is functional. And you might even take it to the track every now and again and get it up to a speed where the spoiler actually does something. And I'll admit that if I had a minivan I might put a huge rubber spoiler on it simply for effect. But otherwise, are these things necessary? What about on the gorgeous piece of machinery pictured here? What does it add? It looks like someone was playing Need For Speed and only had enough points to get one or two items. Instead of opting for some springs or tires or something else that might actually improve performance, they go for the hood and roof scoop. And what is that colour? Faux Carbon Fibre?

Honkin'

This makes me laugh. It's like a documentary. Stop motion video by one Andy Martin, music by Paul Steel.

Nasty new supervillain in Parkdale

Sad, frightening, but apparently true. There is a vile new villain roaming the streets of Parkdale. The Man of Steel himself succumbed to the powers of this as yet un-named evildoer simply by laying eyes on him. I was happily scooting through the climber at the Albert Crosland Park, chased by my daughter, when I came across the horrifying news. Our laughter was instantly silenced. You can be sure we walked home immediately with our eyes tight shut lest we too fall victim to this malefactor.

El Moto Tipo

A while ago I was in Chihuahua on business. Interesting place. I have to say it's more fun to pronounce the word "Chihuahua" the way it is spelled rather than the way it is supposed to be pronounced. Try it.

I snapped this picture while we were driving around the city one day. There are a few things I like about it. The dude (el tipo) has his traveling repair kit hanging on the left handlebar. You can see that he has already worked some magic on the headlight with his favourite tool. Why not duct tape? Dunno. I suppose packing tape is cheaper. There were other parts of the bike that had been repaired in the same fashion. From the looks of the tank and helmet, I'd say he needs to repair things on an ongoing basis. I also like the backwards baseball cap under the helmet. He is sporting some clean khakis, so he must be on his way to work, but I like the fact that he has kept the cap and not compromised his coolness (la frescura?).

Weird little things on my towel

A few summers back I had these weird things show up on my towel at the cottage. They were some kind of shell thing, hard and crunchy. They were tiny. That's part of my finger in the background. Some were open, some were closed. I think something was hatching out of them. If I knew what a barnacle looked like, I could maybe say they looked like that. Or maybe more like some of the things growing on Bootstrap Bill Turner's face during his time on the Flying Dutchman. Were those barnacles? Anyway, I scraped them off and washed the towel and haven't seen them since. Click for the supersize.